July 09, 2006

Going under the knife

Transferred from Myspace, posted on June 29th 2006

I can't tell my husband how scared I am right now because he tells me I am being silly and not to worry because they will not find anything tomorrow. I can't tell my mom or my any other family members because they will all tell me the same thing. I can't tell me friends inevitably they all tell me "don't worry everything will be fine".

But why don't I feel like everything will be fine? Why do I have this gut feeling they are going to go out and give my husband desvistating news tomorrow? The ironic thing is I'm not really worried about myself. I'm worried my husband and how he would handle the "bad" news if the doc the news that I just have this gut feeling she will find.

You see my husband do well with illness and the fear of losing family members and I am so afraid of how he will handle any potential bad news especially since he would be alone when he got the news. Maybe my gut is wrong this time but I've just had this bad feeling for the last few weeks and I can't seem to shake it.

Keep me in your thoughts tomorrow.